That marvellous purveyor of all things wondeful that the internet has to offer - Mr Peter Ross - has taken it upon himself to launch the next top 5 challenge - "the top 5 shithouse movies that you love". I'm a little lost for words at this idea, so I'll let Rossy speak for himself..."I have seen a lot of crap movies in my time, some bad, some badder, and some downright crap (yes, some of the latter were hired by Nick or Jono, namely Kiss of the Spiderwoman, or that dodgy irish one that went for about 20 hours). But there are a few that reek of a certain crappiness that they are worth remembering, and yes, worth quoting. Sometimes I feel the need, when the world really gets to me, to unstrap my brain and float it in a schooner on the coffee table, while I rewatch these "fine" tales....
It's hard to narrow them down to 5 but I think I've done it... In no particular order though....
1. Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigalo - So so bad, but sitting around having dinner with Shaz's family we felt left out when her sisters could recite so may lines and we couldn't resist.
We borrowed it again, and along came the quotes.... "aaah Cakes and Pies Cakes and Pies"
2. Mad Max - Every time my cousins came over when we were kids, we'd throw on Mad Max. Quotes like "We're out of the Game. Unable to continue the pursuit. You'd better send a meat truck... Charlie's copped a saucepan in the throat", and "This... is Cundalini. And Cundalini... wants his hand back!" spring to mind.... but I could recite the whole dialog if needed.
3.Office Space - Another brilliant dvd passed around our office, all about office workers. So easy to relate to.
"What would you do if you had a million dollars?" "I tell you what I'd do - I'd do two chicks at the same time".
4. Creepshow - Short horror stories of pure sh!te-ness...
"I WANT MY CAKE!". [ed. note - apparently there are creepshow deleted scenes on youtube!]
5. King of The Kickboxers - This early 90's movie has it all! Bad acting, mullets, a bad Muai-Thai kickboxer who kills his opponents on VHS for the black market, the little brother wanting vengance for his brother's death at his hands, and a drunken master who must teach him the special flying 3-kick move to bring down the bad guy... all to the tune of late 80's synthesiser pop & soft rock. Can't wait to watch it again, as I can't remember any quotes right now!
Rossy"
6 comments:
Rossy,
What about Jason Vorrheees or Freddy Kruger? Now they had some class. Remember the sleeping bag scene, I have never heard Jono laugh so loud! Being such classy films I can see why they didn't make it in your top five. Is Ray doing this...he would need a top 100....He watches heaps of crap!!
Yesss, I could've included a good few hundred more myself,
But it helps to keep these lists short so people with attention spans as short as mine (eg, a goldfish with alzheimers)
will read them!
Brilliant idea.... I will commence the narrow down from several hundred to five!!
Who's the anonymous clown??? Crap is in the eye of the beholder., having said that I've just purchased 90210 season 1. My top five to follow....
and Diamond Ray Hickson, without even leaving the realm of television, destroys the myth that he never watches shite....
at some stage I expect a top 5 tv series from Mr Hickson, with a vigourous defence against the charge that he is the kingy of soapy TV!!!
now, back to the top 5 shite movies challenge. One added rule, since it is urbanstone, no list with Steven Segal will be published, as everything he has done is now classified by the UN as Weapons of Media Degradation (WMD). I would hate to unleash the US military on Rossy, Ray or even Club Bangalow. Perhaps Browny though...
The top five is up and running. I'll take the TV show challenge at a later date - that's going to be a tough one.
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